October 2nd, 2007

H/G Book 7 kiss

Apparently, all is not well.

Back when I was still something of an LJ baby, I drew this picture:


Some backstory. I'd just been gifted a beautiful Toshiba tablet laptop from mirkwoodarcher, but I hadn't really done anything with it yet. I was in North Carolina visiting with family when I was having trouble sleeping, so I decided to pull out the laptop and try my hand at a digital gift for my friend bennmorland.

When I draw, I always start with eyes. I started with Harry's, and made them look determined, because it's easy to draw determined eyes. I drew his whole face, but it didn't look right because I still didn't quite know how to use the tablet - my stylus kept on sliding all over the place and the cursor had a delay, so it looked wonky. No biggie, I had an idea.

Trying out the lasso feature on my program, I copied Harry's eyes, and flipped them to make a mirror image facing the opposite direction. It looked pretty neat, and knowing Benn was a Harry/Ginny fan, I decided to make the second set of eyes Ginny's. I spent another half-hour marking the differences between their eyes, softening Ginny's and making Harry's green and whatnot. Two determined sets of eyes when I only really had to draw one pair. How fun.

The picture was incomplete and I was getting really sleepy at that point, so I decided not to go too much further in the drawing of the characters. After I drew their hair and Harry's glasses, I scrapped the idea of including their faces, since the only thing successful about the picture was their eyes. So I selected a thin rectangle of the picture and erased around it. It reminded me of Mulder and Scully from those old X-Files promos.

Which inspired me to create a H/G promo. The interview with JKR had just been released, where she had expressed that Ginny was Harry's equal, and everyone in my limited circle had really appreciated that statement as we had all felt that way after reading Half Blood Prince. So I was now going to try my hand as a graphic designer, adding the words "Equals" to the picture, which made sense to me as it had involved literally duplicating the same set of eyes for both characters. The end result reminded me of an advertisement, which, considering I'd never created something like that before, was kinda neat. At 2:30 AM, I called it a night.

And that's the whole story.

Notice how nowhere in the above description is there any thing indicative of a desire to piss off anyone. So when, the next day, I made the greivous error of crossposting what I'd drawn, I was legitimately surprised to find that anyone was offended enough by the picture to leave me an insult on my LJ. These folks seemed to think I had an agenda. As if I have the time to waste. I've since learned a lot about fandom wankery and in retrospect, I would never have posted it.

Now, you'd think this would be water under the bridge by now. I really wish it was. I've drawn many pairings, Harry/Hermione included, and I enjoy commenting on/admiring the creative exploits of anyone else who draws pairings that I don't necessarily subscribe to because good art is good art.

But apparently there is still wank circulating about "Equals". There has even been talk about altering the picture to bear a *cough* different message. And worse yet, the conversation was initiated by someone I've considered a friend.

I don't have the energy to call specific people out for this kind of stuff, and while this covert discussion about changing my art happened in the safety of locked community, I maintain the right to be angry about being the fodder for wankery.

I am not apologizing for this picture anymore. I am allowed to enjoy the pairings I do and to celebrate the books in my own way. And if anyone has a problem with it, kindly learn a thing or two from Ginny Weasley and say it to my face.
  • Current Mood
    gloomy hurt